This is Fourth Time

first step, when you are starting a blog, according to me, ought to be, introducing yourself. this is part i never bothered to write. and today also, when i am starting my fourth blog in single year (out of frustration), will remain without introduction. because i like it this way. and i have reason for doing same. i have my insecurities, my dreams, ambitions, my failures, observations, which i want to share with the world, but fear censure from those who know me. so i feel more comfortable in expressing myself to a stranger who may just, somehow, land here. another reason i can think of right now is that i am frustrated. problem with me is that i value myself more than others and think i know better than them. but when it comes to recognition, i never got recognition i wanted. no, i not old. i am just 23. still, i feel i have wasted my time in talking to people about other people, judging them, criticizing them. i wish i had studied then. but i think wishing this would also lose its meaning if i wish to study only to get attention. problem is, i have two sides which want different things. i guess this is a very common problem. so i won’t exaggerate mine. so very briefly, i am starting this blog to feel that i am doing something worthwhile in my life, at least, for the time being. you saw your friends and peers getting things which you don’t have either because those things doesn’t interest you, but you know that they matter in real world; or because you are not capable enough. with me, both these reasons apply. i hope, this is my last blog and i don’t have to rush to another blog to create things afresh. i want this to continue and i want you (yes, you, the reader) to help me in this. we may not know each other, but when you read this, there is something now we share in common. there is something we both know. and there are many more opportunities to know and grow. and may be in that process i’ll be able to solve the mystery of two different minds who crave for different things.

p.s.- my name is not aasha (but you can call me by this name). but this name has become part of my being.


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